Remember That

Remember when your therapist

guided you under that towering

blue spruce in your imagination

and meditation?

And you sat atop

the fallen needles and rested

your back against the scabby trunk

and plunged your fingers deep

into the cool black soil and inhaled

that peaty musk and closed your eyes

and felt Jesus settle in next to you.

And when the tears fell and the snot

gushed He wrapped his arms around

you and pulled you close and pressed his lips

to the top of your head and when you said

over and over I’m sorry I’m sorry He said

you never have to be sorry for being sad.

And remember when the six-year-old

version of you—the one with the little turtle

on her shirt and plastic sunglasses perched

on her head between stringy pigtails because

she wanted to look cool for picture day—

came to join you under the tree?

And she said she was scared and lonely

and hurt so you scooped her up and rocked

her and swept her sticky bangs back

from her forehead and looked her in the eye

and told her life would be hard and people

would betray and desert and exploit and neglect

and discard and even you would abandon

her for a while but God never would.

And when you came to understand she was worthy

of safety and dignity and kindness you would return

to her because you believed her and loved her

and celebrated her because she was not invisible

and she was not nothin’.

And remember when the current version of you—

the one with the haggard eyes and weary soul

and shattered spirit—realized you had sacrificed

your sacred core to please the unpleasable

and had remained scared and lonely and hurt?

And when you looked over at Jesus He smiled

with such tenderness and He scooped you up

and rocked you and He tucked your frizzy hair

back behind your ear and looked you in the eye

and told you life has been hard and people have

betrayed and deserted and exploited and neglected

and discarded but He never abandoned you.

And when you came to understand that you are worthy

of safety and dignity and kindness He would restore

you back to yourself because He believes you and loves

you and celebrates you because you are not invisible

and you are not nothin’.

And remember when He took both little

you and weary you and set your yearning

faces toward the sky and pointed to the gold

leaves and the purple flowers and the red birds

and the fat clouds and said every time

you feel betrayed or deserted or invisible

just search for these reminders

of my presence and mercy and love

I have placed them everywhere—

tiny promises scattered

like confetti over lonely valleys.

And when you notice them

remember this

remember you

remember me

Remember that?

Remember that.